Jan 15, 2009

Skeletons in My Closet

So Mr. Incredible calls to say that his entire company is upset with me.  Feeling a little sick to my stomach, because he does sound serious, I wait impatiently to hear the reason. He proceeds to tell me that a very large, potential client met with him today.  Things were looking very good, initially.  For the final step in the decision process, they would like him to meet with their Vice President of Marketing.  "That sounds great", he says, "What's his name?" Now this is where it gets dicey.  Unbelievably, the guy says the name of the person that I was engaged to when Mr. Incredible got home from his mission!  NOooooo!  This cannot be true.  Oh, but it is and evidently the bombshell look on Mr. Incredible's face caused his client to question if he perhaps had a "problem" with this guy.  Problem? No problem.  It's just his arch-enemy - the person that almost stole the love of his life, the person that kept her from being at the airport to meet him when he came home, the person that implied that he was not "grown up" enough - yet.  "No, he's a great guy," he hears himself say, 'I know him because... well, he was engaged to my wife when I got home from my mission.  Oh, but his wife's sure a sweetheart... have you met her?" (I am not making this up, he really said that!) 
O.K. awkward!  The meeting is today.  Surely an x-fiance' wouldn't withhold business all these years later? He should, in fact, be thanking Mr. Incredible for saving him... from me. I'm sure his wife is a sweetheart and that they are very happy, and this is all because of who?   See nothing to worry about. 
Mr. Incredible wants to know what to say, he wants to know if I have a little message for "you-know-who".   I think he's a little nervous, but I have complete confidence in him. I told him to just relax and say (or sing), "I've seen that smile somewhere before..."

Jan 14, 2009

Chap stick vs. Glue stick

A few days ago, we made a quick stop at Walgreen's and apparently Mr. Incredible actually noticed that I bought a big, Cherry-Pepsi chap stick. (Wow, say that 5 time fast.) Since then, I haven't given it another thought.  This morning, in an effort to improve my vocabulary, in an effort to appear smarter than I am, I glued some interesting words and phrases onto a card so that I could read and memorize them.  I had just finished doing this when the phone rang, and I ran to answer it.  Can you see where this is going? Yep, I left the glue stick on the night stand, by the phone right next to our bed!  Fast forward to tonight. Mr. Incredible's alter ego the "Janitor" was dutifully taking out the garbage. With a garbage bag in one hand and wiping his mouth frantically with the sleeve of the other he comes howling out of the bedroom saying, "Who did that? WHO PUT THE GLUE STICK BY MY BED?" (Spoken like, "Who's that trip-trappin' on my bridge?" or, "Who's been sleeping in MY bed?") I tried not to appear completely giddy as I realized what had happened and replied, "Oh, honey... did you really put that on your lips?" Still trying to wipe them (and his teeth) on the sleeve of his jacket he said, "I thought it was that new Pepsi chap stick you just bought!" Unable to contain my laughter I said, "I guess that means there won't be any more kissing tonight..."

I sure wish it had been the glue stick with the purple glue - he likes purple. 

Jan 10, 2009

Have you ever noticed...
that there is really only one word going around and around in a dogs brain?  I think it must go like this: FOOD alsd flqweorya kcv zxod FOOD, asdfh awet;idh FOOD asdoiwrn /xcv @#%^& &^%#*# FOOD!
Sometimes I wonder if I'm a dog.